The Return of KittyH

So... today couldn't have been more perfect. Until KittyH was mentioned. Let me just set the story up, k?

My friend 'Chelle came over and spent the night with me--- which was a total surprise to me! I went to work and got a lot done. Then, I headed to the gym as usual! Me & my thirds then headed to Laura's softball game and ate at Chicken Express afterwards. It was a perfect evening!! We go rent a few movies and officially declare Friday night as "Ladies Night" and head to the house to shower up and start the movies.

Things are so perfect I could just cry! Then Laura's friend calls to see if he can come so that she can stitch him up from a dirtbike crash and he proceeds to mention... :cue music: dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmm KittyH. Yeah. Great. I could have gone a lifetime without having to discuss that issue. I hate being caught off guard. I had totally let my guard down and had just started letting myself actually ENJOY myself and WHAM... he's baaaaaaacckkk!!

:sigh:
Why, Lord? Why can't I just be left to my own devices? Why can't you just make it all go away? Why do I have to be reminded of the past? Is it so I won't make the same mistake again? What are you calling me to? I really don't understand. It has been two years and I still don't understand. I wish that things would have never changed. But praise God that they did. I would have died in that situation--- if left long term.

It's funny how I'm writing about this now. I haven't thought about this stuff in so long. Ages it seems like... and in the past couple of weeks it has been so prominent in my thoughts.

I do know that -- even though I can't see it -- there is a light at the end of the tunnel.