Ok - my nearest and dearest have remained silent over my sinful addiction to DCC. Be it my sheltered upbringing, my lack of rhythm or the disgustingness of so many perfect girls in one room -- I can't get enough. DCC is my meth.
So - you can count on me to give you an episode-by-episode rundown of DCC: Season 3. For those of you with lackluster viewing habits of trashy television, pull out your 3x5's and commence notetaking. I got a late star this season and we've lots to learn!
Basically, 600 girls show up at Mecca, the Texas Version, to show off their enhanced selves in hopes of scoring a spot on the squad. There are lots of tears, roots and cellulite. Nothing can make a viewer feel better about herself. Trust me.
Moving right along...
Can I just say, "Kelli Finglass, get on the elliptical!"In the most recent episode she's wearing an unusually bland, brown, double-breasted dress that does absolutely nothing for her. I find it hysterical that she's criticising every muffin top that walks in when clearly, her stylist did not check her at the door before tryouts that morning. FOR SHAME. (this pick is a gracious rear view)
If you're a Finglass Faithful (gawd! I cannot get enough of her haughtiness!) you were surprised at her less-than-best appearance. Kelli, you did not bring your best to the dance floor today! The FF's out there expect to see BIG hair, BIG get-ups and BIG boobs. I want color! I want flashiness!
Not to mention - Judy Trammel's daughter is trying out. Can anyone say SHOO IN?
Puh-lease. Cassie, let's face it. You're not Americana - you're Playboy. Why don't you call your BFF Holly from the Mansion, ok? I'm sure Hef can make room for you in the pool house or something. I hear things are on the rocks with him & Holls.
Brandi Kilby - are you a stripper? Here's a heads-up for you sweets: Judy and Kelli THINK SO! I was in the office with them tonight and they are convinced you, uh, have visited the poles before. I am not talking about Mr. & Mrs. Claus' casita either. Take those tell-tell pics off Facebook and BURN THEM. Oh! But La Bare makes direct deposits, you say? CLOSE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. Do not let J & K find out!
As I write this, I am also editing my resume. Can I have the Assistant to Kelli Finglass position, please? I mean - just for the wardrobe. What are they paying that girl? It's Marc Jacobs, Betsey Johnson, Vera...every day. Sign me up. At minimum wage.
Well, I'm off to join Jordan, Jordan and Jordyn for lunch! Toodle-loo!
