I'm always reading other people's blogs and it totally cramps my style 'cause I feel the need to be totally philosophical in my bloggie.

For posterity's sake... I have had SEVERAL philosophical thoughts this past week. As I was sitting on the tarmac at O'Hare I was confronted with the fact that life throws you curves. But... as a Rountree assume to expect an unusual amount. But, more curves mean more blessings in the long run.

I also realize how young and stupid I am. I mean... does it ever get better. Will there ever be a day when I will always say the "right" things, wear the "right" outfit, and just do the "right" thing in general?

Also- will I ever know what I really want? It changes every stinkin day and I can't tolerate my own fickleness for much longer.

Ok.. here's really what you want to know...
Bryan is coming up this weekend for Lauren's wedding. I'm excited--- but in all honesty I'm too tired to really care or become ecstatic. We are both so busy right now. I wonder if this relationship will ever be successful. He has his law firm stuff and I'm always on the road. I swear-- our cell bill is going to be outrageous this month. I guess that's why you date an attorney though? ;-)


I spilled coffee on myself this morning, which really wasn't that unordinary until I thought "How often do I really spill stuff on myself?". Never. It's one of those weird things about growing up. You quit falling down and you quit spilling stuff on yourself. I mean, when I was a kid I'd come home from school with stuff all down the front of my shirt. I know my Mom was about to kill me--- and now that I think about it I wonder how it all got there. Everyday I come in contact with tons of stuff: pen ink, coffee, Dr Pepper, food-- and most of the time none of it ever makes contact with my clothing. Yes... folks, Beth is officially WEIRD. But, hopefully you already knew that.

I am soooooooooooooo tired. My flight home from my conference was held up in Chicago and I didn't get home until 2 AM when I was supposed to be home at 6:30 PM. I laugh when I look at myself and think that I'm a grown up. I mean--- I just came home from a CONFERENCE! A business trip!! I use those words in everyday conversation and I just crack myself up. I am responsible for money and people's lives and stuff. All while I feel like the 16 year old that just kissed David Hughes. Ahh... those were the olden days. (Notice that I didn't say golden)

It's funny how when I type things just come up. This may sound awful, but I'd practically forgotten about David. Sheesh. That's awful. He was in my life for 5 years. I haven't done it on purpose or anything. Don't mistake the casual attitude for carelessness. It's just that the "me" that was then is soooo not me. I can't really say that the "me" I am right now is "me" either.... but still. I am so much not who I was then. I can honestly say that I'm better. (Don't mistake that for being better than him... I'm not. I'm not any better than the next guy).

I'm a better believer. A better listener. A better friend. A better woman. Gosh-- truly refinement by fire is an awesome thing God does to His children. It's so awesome to be on the other side and say, "God, who am I to be CHOSEN to be refined for Your glory and goodness?" I think that's why he does those things. I would have never chosen it for myself.

Would Bryan have chosen divorce? No, but he's better for it. Would my family have chosen cancer for my Mom? No. What about the awful separation we're going through? Never. But we rest assured that on the other side we will be the better for it. And not for us, but for HIM.