I am at a new LOW...

"I will chew him up like a piece of garbage!"

"I will fight for her heart, every single day, for the rest of my life."

"When they fry chicken and put it in a bucket, you know, and you pull it out - that's how HOT you are."

"Have you ever been on a tin roof in Arkansas in July? That's how HOT you are."

THESE ARE REAL QUOTES from The Bachelorette! I can't believe that I succumbed to the madness that America calls "entertainment". To make things worse.... meaning- like I didn't feel like a dumb, silly girl enough-- my roommate received SEVENTEEN magazine in the mail today. It was SO hilarious! I haven't read SEVENTEEN since I was, well, seventeen.

BUT- before all of the Bachelorette/Seventeen drama I was returning a missing man purse to a not-so-missing man and was doing what most automobile operators do: listening to the radio! A somber advertisement comes on encouraging families to PLAN FOR A TERRORIST ATTACK. That's right kids, no more of this buy-a-ladder-for-every-second-story-bedroom-window, no have-a-shiny-sticker-on-every-kids-bedroom-window or the have-a-meeting-place-if-there's-a fire.... NOPE! PLAN FOR A TERRORIST ATTACK, KIDS!

OH WAIT.... BREAKING NEWS! (I'm watching the 10 o'clock news as I write this....) Carnie Wilson was in town today! IN LONGVIEW, TEXAS!

So.... break free, break free from the chains!