bridesmaids=ex girlfriends?!?!

I experienced an epiphany this weekend. Actually I experienced more than one – if that’s possible. The first was seeing my brother drink beer. Weird. I’m sure he felt the same way once he realized that I wasn’t toting around punch in an awkward brown bottle, but Shiner.

So–I’m watching the scene unfold. Preacher and groom walk in. Groom is fidgeting nervously with his cuff links. Then, the processional starts. Bridesmaid….after bridesmaid…. after bridesmaid. All awkwardly smiling and secretly cursing the bride for choosing a color of dress so awful that Elle McPherson couldn’t even pull it off.

The groom is anxiously watching each girl traipse/plod down the aisle, all the while thinking,
“When is the right one going to get here?”

And then it occurred to me! My aha! moment came so swiftly in the sanctuary of the First Methodist Church. Those bridesmaids represent every relationship he had to suffer through before arriving at the right one. This also explains why the groom usually casts disdainful eyes upon the bride’s friends. Isn’t my theory coming together nicely?

When an acquaintance of mine was married, she had something like thirteen bridesmaids. The funny (and ironic and weird and sad) thing is – she probably had that many relationships before meeting her husband.

I realize that traditional thought says that bridesmaids/groomsmen are there to stand in support of your marriage. They often represent remnants of your past, or are what brought the two lovebirds together or better yet, they’re siblings that will be around regardless to listen to your woes as newlyweds/new parents/empty nesters.

Maybe I'm pregnant?!?

Even pregnant you wear heels? Always. Louboutins. I’ve worn heels forever, and my feet are just more comfortable in them. I’m not bragging, but when I wear flats, my back hurts because I’ve relearned how to walk—I walk on the front pad of my foot instead of on my heel.

So that's the reason my back was hurting today! I'm pregnant! Not really...that's how rumors get started. But I can totally sympathize with this chick. I wear heels 6 days a week. I noticed several months (maybe more like a year or so) ago that when I wore ballet flats my hips and lower back would have a dull ache. I chalked it up to old age or the early on-set of arthritis. (I can't believe I even just mentioned those two terms... it's like I already have one foot in the grave.)

I would say that I am very aware when it comes to my body and I acknowledge that a couple of skiing injuries and a family history of arthritis make me a likely candidate for aches and pains at a young age. I also realized that on the days I was wearing ballet flats were the days that I wasn't feeling up to par, so it was to be expected that I feel a few aches and pains.

So, one day when I had worn flats all day and then changed into heels for an evening out I realized that the pain magically disappeared. Then... months later I read the above linked article in New York-The Magazine's Look Book I realized my problem. My body is so acclimated to wearing heels that it rejects anything else. Even super comfy Cobians. (Which, btw are the only things you should put on your feet save Manolos.)

So -mystery foiled. Just call me Matlock!

Rendevous then I'm through with you...

Have you ever made a really awful decision? I mean REALLY AWFUL?

I'm not talking about marrying the wrong guy (I almost did that), or wearing one of those "in style" outfits that you really thought you could pull off (done that), or saying hateful things to your mother (sad to say - I've done this too).

What I'm talking about is a little different. The aforementioned quandaries are really considered to be choices, in my opinion. Not so much decisions. With choices, there's an obvious good and bad. Not so much with decisions. Those are the tricky ones.

So I made a decision. And in making that decision I was, in my opinion, choosing between two goods. (Sometimes, in decision making it gets really yucky because you have to choose between two bads.) I made a bad decision. This decision led to a brief rendezvous with an establish that is good, just not good for me.

The light at at the end of the tunnel is this: even when we make bad choices or decisions - good inevitably comes from it. Without you even trying. Funny how that works.