"Made me sick to my stomach to be honest. To make matters worse, I started thinking that I'll probably have to endure a first kiss in the future (not necessarily the near...) and that made me even more nauseous. It's funny how my mind runs away without me."
I copied this quote out of an e-mail that a friend and I had been writing back and forth. At some point the Chronicles will end-- but not before the First Kiss Edition makes it's debut. To understand the event you must have the history.
*Prelude to a Kiss*
I was a child who, unlike Vanessa, wasn't afraid of boys-- they just simply didn't have much to offer me. Plus, they smelled (badly). I hate smelly people. And when they attempted to smell good... well, that's a road trip worthy discussion only. So, I didn't kiss boys on the playground. Boys were business partners in my quest for world domination. Contrary to popular belief-- not all little girls are concerned with pigtails and Barbie dolls.
So... kissing wasn't a trite thing to me. Kissing was serious business. So, I knew eventually I'd have to go through the whole kissing bit with someone. Alan decided to be that someone, much to my chagrin.
It's the classic high school set-up. ::cue sappy Barbara Streisand music::
Alan was a senior and I was his oh-so-hot freshman girlfriend. Alan drove a black Dodge, played on the golf team and let me wear his letterman jacket. Plus-- I was a H-O-T-T freshman. (If Shane can brag about his past sports achievement, surely I can boast about the fact that I was the hottest freshman in my class*!) Our church youth group sets off on a ski trip and EVERYONE on the trip finds out that I've been his girlfriend for 8 months and he hasn't kissed me. Why this was cause for concern... I dunno, but apparently you can't be cool in high school if you haven't been kissed by a boy.
The whole week he kept trying to sneak one on me. We built these ice tunnels... and he crawled behind me in them... I got away! Then, we were making snow angels and he peered over me with those googley eyes and I got up and skied away! But... on the way home from Colorado as I was sleeping peacefully... he layed one on me! HOW SICK IS THAT? I wasn't even awake to enjoy my first stinkin' kiss!!
Even though Alan was a lousy first kisser, he had redeeming qualities. He carried a pocket knife! He taught me to drive a stick and... he made my swing be----utiful! This too came to a bittersweet end, though.
Ladies-- when you think all is lost and there's no hope, think about how you probably didn't sleep through your first kiss and how Ms. Geri Halliwell so aptly described the role of liquid sunshine in the female world:
*homeschool ROCKS!
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