Hot Chocolate Kisses and Summertime Wishes

As I sit here at my laptop and think over the past week- I laugh! Today it's 70 degrees and I'm dressed in summertime sttire (hence the summertime wishes title). Just last week though... it was FREEZING!! Just ask gettin'flossy!

Here are some post-birthday/Christmas notable events:

-an ostrich loose on Redmon Road (yes!! The ghetto has live ostriches!!)
-BUNKO!
-Pat Green& Billy Bob's!
-Rockin' New Year @ The House of Redmon
-lots of movies...
-even more Scrabble (I finally beat Laura for the first time in 23 years!!)

Some Things Never Change...

I was operating the microwave last night and I realized that somethings WILL NEVER change regardless of where you live or how old you get:

-I still don't cover my plate with a paper towel when I heat things up in the microwave! (That's for you, Mom!)

-I still use a new towel EVERY TIME I take a shower. (Which is really silly... and since I do my own laundry, you'd think I would've caught on by now...)

-I still forget to crank my car and let it warm up on really cold mornings. (I did remember this morning though!)

-I still forget to set out the chicken to defrost before I leave for work in the mornings.

-I still can't remember to take Rx's. (Yes, Mom-- I've tried doing it when I take my contacts out just like you said... but it STILL doesn't work!)

-I still "shop for FIVE" at the grocery store...

-I still won't drink the last bit of milk in the jug--- cause Dad might get mad if he doesn't have enough for his GrapeNuts! (Actually, now it's so Dre will have enough milk for her Special K)

1 Corinthians 13-Christmas Style

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the tree with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata, but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.

"He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." (Proverbs 11:25)

How to Know Who to Marry

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.-Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with.-Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then.-Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.-Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on Whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids.-Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.-Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long
enough.-Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date. --Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.-Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that.-Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.-Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never
going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
--Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.-Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck.-Ricky, age 10

It's a bittersweet symphony.... that's life

So things are just right-o crazy at this barn party. Speaking of barns.... and parties.... I realized that I am the last of a dying breed. Farm raised and grain fed. Well, not so much grain fed... but very much farm raised.

Here are ten ways to know that you've celebrated a holiday in East Texas:

1) Your Thanksgiving celebration consists of the traditonal FRIED turkey (courtesy of the deep fryer now positioned in the driveway) and football --- PLUS target practice in the backyard afterwards. With GUNS!

2) Gettin' up at 4 AM on Christmas morning-- not to open presents, but TO GET IN THE DEER STAND

3) Fightin' with your brother in the duck blind (on Christmas Eve!!) over the propane heater and hand warmers

4) a good 'ol fashioned Christmas parade: all the cheerleaders riding on the town's firetruck, and all the club sweethearts in sequined dresses (in 30 degree weather mind you) and MY BROTHER as Mr. DECA Club!!

5) going to the mini-mart (if you don't know what that is... get therapy!) for a Coke 'cause it's the only thing open!

6) Running into everyone (in Wal-Mart of course!) and answering the whole "how's your Mom?" "who are you dating?" thing.

7) Knowing what the parade emcee is talking about when he says, "It's like trying to herd a bunch of cats!"

8) The HUGE Christmas cards in everyone's yard! (that's for Vanessa 'cause there isn't Christmas culture in Cali!)

9) Scheduling "Rekop" around the Christmas holidays.

10) Flat top Christmas trees. Actually... just totally redneck, deranged Christmas trees make it worth it!

The Texas Country Reporter

Since I'm back to writing about "normal" stuff I've got a lot of catching up to do! Contrary to previous blogging - I think about more than "just boys"... actually... who am I kidding?? No, seriously - I really don't.

SO... my work takes me away from home and I'm not to fond of leaving the Lone Star State on to often of an occasion, but duty does call. My expertise on all things admissionsly should be shared with those (Yankees) who most need lessons in manners (opening doors for ladies) and speech/grammar (Hi Ya'll! You wanna go get a Coke?).

Right, so when I'm away from home I miss it, right? It's always funny how when I'm gone I'll see something or talk to someone that will remind me of home and provide me with the encouragement to "keep on keepin' on" as my Mom would say. I know this is streching you guys a bit... but just work with me, okay?

BOB PHILLIPS IS H-O-T-T! On my latest trip I was flipping channels and WHEW! a sight for sore eyes did I see! It was Bob Phillips the Texas Country Reporter. Now - most of you can't appreciate Bob Phillips and what he has done for the world. Most important was the fact that Bob taught me to tell time. Every Sunday evening Bob would be on and I knew that when Texas Country Reporter came on it was time to get ready for church (this was back in the olden days when EVERYONE had church on Sunday night). I could start getting ready and as long I was ready by the time TCR was over I was in good shape. Second, though was how TOTALLY COOL Texas Country Reporter was! Man - when I started watching it - I wanted to cry (I think that's because I was tired though) because Bob sees how really awesome Texas is. No one in Washington DC could ever understand that save Dubya himself. Bob would always go and search out these neat festivals (The Annual Heritage Syrup Fesitval sound familiar???) or showcase state artisans. So, THANK YOU Bob Phillips and Texas Country Reporter. May your show be long running and may you someday be picked up by a network.

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-Numero Seite

::sigh:: Every good thing must come to an end and so I'm opting to end on the perfect number: 7
This does not imply, however, that said Boyfriend was Mr. Perfect. So, here's my last and most favorite Chronicle. You've enjoyed more than just a chronicle of "boyfriends", but a chronicle of firsts (first kiss, first boy that made me really cry, first heartbreak) and of my adolescence.

David
Where to start. If you know me, you probably know David. Or knew David. (*snicker* -here's props to my sister for forever hating every boy who ever broke my heart. She ALWAYS takes my side, no matter what. *props* to Brother for scrutinizing every male who ever dared to put his arm around me in church! I LOVE YOU TWO!!)

David was my nemesis. In the 1st grade he proceeded to yank my ponytail with such gusto that on more that one occasion my bow popped out. And I had a famous ponytail-- so he was messing with a legend at the age of six. Daring of him, if I do say so myself.

Our paths crossed sporadically for the next several years. We both interviewed at the same prestigious private school. He opted to attend... I didn't. Our sisters were the same age and so were our brothers, so we knew who each other were. He transferred back to the local high school where my then best friend was and they were in the same Study Hall class. We met because she decided that he was "perfect" for me. She said that he had the "perfect mix of city and country, Beth. He's exactly what you need. He'll totally relax you! And he has a truck! Beth, you've always wanted a guy with a cool truck."

So...without my permission she gave him my number. The next thing I know, we're at a Friday Night Football Game (in East Texas an event like that is capitalized). He invites me to the afterparty-- calls my parents to double check AND offers to drive me home.

From then on we were inseparable. As for what happened from then until now... well, that's history. Everyone has a first love. Since you fine folks have enjoyed the juicy details of every other "first" in my adolescent years... it was only fair to share my first love as well.

I'm sure you're thinking all types of things:

"Why aren't you two together? You loved him right?"

"Will you always love him?"

"Hey, Beth, since you mention it-- what did happen to that guy?"

My reply is this: 'tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I love "first loves". Something about the naivete and the youth and the all-mixed-up-ness of it just makes me love it! For awhile I thought I was the only one in my circumstance - but I've come to discover that I'm not. Just go to a beauty shop and sit and listen and you'll know what I mean.

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-The Ones That Never Were

This entry is for the the guys who never attained boyfriend status... but deserve props! These guys gave me most of my material! So, they will remain unnamed lest they come and try to claim the profits from my million dollar book deal. (I'm convinced that I'm the next Bridget Jones minus the alcohol, cursing and cigarettes.)



Mr. Unattainable
-- the guy I TOTALLY crushed on in Junior High. Everyone has one. I never thought I'd ever actually go out with him!! But... the same girl who was involved with COB #7 set me up with Micah Pettit last summer. WOW! It was so funny to actually catch up with him. *shhhh-- I never let him in on the secret that he was my Junior high crush, didn't want it to go to his head*

Micah also introduced me to Jack Johnson. (I know Laura is thankful for that!)

The Lawyer/City Boy
...he was a Democrat. And divorced. But he drove a truck! I know I sound terribly shallow, but it's just a cover for my vulnerability. He had a knack for catching me when I was about to freak out because of my mom. I have this "never let 'em see you cry" rule... and since I couldn't see him... I could cry and not feel guilty. I'm forever indebted...

My First Old Man/Mercy Date
I think every girl goes out on one of two types of dates in her lifetime: An Old Man or A Mercy Date. Mine just happened to be combined into one. Lucky me. ::said while rolling my eyes:: This dude was, like, 32 years old!!! He was the first divorcee that I went on a date with. Sicko. He tried to kiss me and it was just awful!! I gave him the cold cheek and politely avoided his day-after-follow-up-call. I'm sooo glad that's over!

The Man Who Drove A Car
This guy would've never have ever gotten the time of day because "must drive a truck" is the first, most important item on Beth's To-Be-Or-Not-To-Be Boyfriend Checklist. But... recently it has come under attack from reconnaissance forces, so it's being re-evaluated. Anyway - he drove a car (a very nice one I must admit). He also was "artsy". ::gasp:: Probably the most opposite person (in comparison to myself) that I could have ever gone on a date with.

Mr. Rebound
I saw it from a mile away... and did it anyway! I don't know what I was thinking!! He was incredibly cute... it was winter... I was really uncomfortable with my new singleness...

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-Numero Seis

Ah! The masses have missed me. I never thought self esteem was an issue until I bought into blogging for the masses. Friends, Romans, Countrymen-- I hope that you are enjoying not just the chronicles... but my candor as well!

Ken
He was a football player. He had a pool in his backyard and it was summertime. How hard is that to decide upon??? DUH! Ken also takes the award for "First Boy to REALLY Make Me Cry". Ken was a Methodist. That really has nothing to do with all of this... but it's another interesting fact about him for you to enjoy. Ken was really cool, despite the Methodist upbringing. He caught me one time when I fell off roof because I was trying to be cool and hide the flag in the game Capture the Flag. *it seemed like a good idea at the time* He also was the first boy to send me flowers. Ah...

BUT...he also made me really cry. It was awful. I still don't think that I really, really liked him-- but no one warns you about rejection. It hurts like hell. Ken decided that he didn't get to see me enough (he was in public school... I was homeschooled) and so rather than see me on weekends, he'd just rather not see me at all. I think that's when I was first introduced to men and their bullsh*t. Sorry for the crassness, but that's exactly what they do-- lies=crass=dirty words. A little formula for the mathematically inclined. So... back to my story. When he calls me to tell me this my feelings are hurt.

Now, my mom has this nasty habit of walking. She says it is for her physical health-- and I don't doubt that-- but it's really to get away from us crazy kids.

She's on a walk when all of this happens and so I tear off down the oil top road to find her so she can come home and tell him how wrong all of this is. I don't start crying until I see her. Then--- the waterworks begin. Sobbing. A hysterical, unintelligible explanation of my behavior flows from my lips.

And then she does an awful thing-- she says, "It'll be okay."

WHAT?? OKAY?? My life is over. The only Methodist football player I know has dumped me. Dumped me! I thought I was the best little monkey ever. (One last side note: my Mom tells the three of us that we are the best little monkeys she knows and every mom thinks her little monkeys are the best and that's why she doesn't think anybody else's monkeys are any good. And that's why I'll think my little monkeys are the best little monkeys...)

I explain to her that I am doomed. Cursed. The public school kids will never, ever talk to me again. And again, "It'll be okay."

Guess what? It was okay. We actually went out several times when I was 19 or 20. Who did he call when he needed a HOT who's-that-with-Ken date to Homecoming? Me. Yep. Being homeschooled had it's benefits. You were an Untouchable with out even trying. Everyone knew who you were and thought you were brilliant without you even opening your mouth ('cause when I opened my mouth the Southern drawl dropped my IQ by about 75 points). Best political move a girl could ever have made.

Good times, good times. He's married now. Another funny thing is that we made a pact to marry each other if neither one of us was married by the time we were 27. So... I'm currently taking resumes for the position of Man B. (I'm taking apps for Man A too, but that's another story.)

I'll end with a quote from Luanne Clatterback in Shag: The Movie

"I do not believe in practicing free love!"

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-Numero Cinco (Prelude to a Kiss)

"Made me sick to my stomach to be honest. To make matters worse, I started thinking that I'll probably have to endure a first kiss in the future (not necessarily the near...) and that made me even more nauseous. It's funny how my mind runs away without me."

I copied this quote out of an e-mail that a friend and I had been writing back and forth. At some point the Chronicles will end-- but not before the First Kiss Edition makes it's debut. To understand the event you must have the history.

*Prelude to a Kiss*
I was a child who, unlike Vanessa, wasn't afraid of boys-- they just simply didn't have much to offer me. Plus, they smelled (badly). I hate smelly people. And when they attempted to smell good... well, that's a road trip worthy discussion only. So, I didn't kiss boys on the playground. Boys were business partners in my quest for world domination. Contrary to popular belief-- not all little girls are concerned with pigtails and Barbie dolls.

So... kissing wasn't a trite thing to me. Kissing was serious business. So, I knew eventually I'd have to go through the whole kissing bit with someone. Alan decided to be that someone, much to my chagrin.

It's the classic high school set-up. ::cue sappy Barbara Streisand music::

Alan was a senior and I was his oh-so-hot freshman girlfriend. Alan drove a black Dodge, played on the golf team and let me wear his letterman jacket. Plus-- I was a H-O-T-T freshman. (If Shane can brag about his past sports achievement, surely I can boast about the fact that I was the hottest freshman in my class*!) Our church youth group sets off on a ski trip and EVERYONE on the trip finds out that I've been his girlfriend for 8 months and he hasn't kissed me. Why this was cause for concern... I dunno, but apparently you can't be cool in high school if you haven't been kissed by a boy.

The whole week he kept trying to sneak one on me. We built these ice tunnels... and he crawled behind me in them... I got away! Then, we were making snow angels and he peered over me with those googley eyes and I got up and skied away! But... on the way home from Colorado as I was sleeping peacefully... he layed one on me! HOW SICK IS THAT? I wasn't even awake to enjoy my first stinkin' kiss!!

Even though Alan was a lousy first kisser, he had redeeming qualities. He carried a pocket knife! He taught me to drive a stick and... he made my swing be----utiful! This too came to a bittersweet end, though.

Ladies-- when you think all is lost and there's no hope, think about how you probably didn't sleep through your first kiss and how Ms. Geri Halliwell so aptly described the role of liquid sunshine in the female world:

"...it's raining men!"

*homeschool ROCKS!

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-Numero Cuatro

Folks – sit back and relax, because you are getting a TWO ‘FER DEAL today. Yes, a two-for-the-price-of-one boyfriendia story today. I know you’ve all been clamoring for an update (namely Jasien) so I’ll cut to the chase.

Chris & JM

Chris was my fourth grade boyfriend and he started the short man fetish. Well… fetish is a bit of a strong term, but nonetheless – my better judgment was lost and I proceeded to have a boyfriend who was ::GASP:: not as tall as I was. I look back in horror because I was entirely too young to be the possessor of an ID bracelet which Chris deemed necessary for me to wear. (Oh—the public school days of yore.) I should have realized right then and there that the short man identity crisis was in full swing.

Here’s my reasoning: short men (actually men who are shorter than the women they date) are… how shall I say? – driven. A bit more dominating than your run-of-the-mill “taller than the women they date” man. And so in my quest for world domination I decided that Chris – would be my ticket to running the UN. I could ride on his coattails to power – oh, wait, his coattails drag the ground! How about I just walk beside him, eh? And so off we went to conquer the fourth grade. I don’t really recall why and where the separation of superpowers occurred. Maybe it was because I supported free trade and he didn’t. I do recall that our first “big fight” was over North Vietnam and the DMZ. Craziness.

Anyway – apparently I didn’t get enough short man because… ten years later… another one comes along. At this point on the timeline I’m still seeking world domination, but I’ve scaled down the operation to just a few, select women in my posse: Condoleezza Rice, Carly Fiorina, Madeline Albright etc.

We’re seeking to diversify and so we decide that it’s probably best for me to go with not only short – but Latin. (Keep in mind that I am a very white sister. Most notable white trash mishap: taking a camo swimsuit to LA – and I don’t mean Lower Alabama) Off I go to conquer the world with my new, short and now PC Latin boyfriend. I’ve always gone for dark and handsome but this was a new low.

JM was fun – but the “diversify” technique didn’t exactly work. For starters – he didn’t even know Spanish. Then, there was the whole issue of us not exactly liking each other. Yes – loving one another with the love of the Lord is one thing – the will to like someone is another. As you can probably forecast – things went sour and south simultaneously.

Until next time, kids. Remember ladies – in the words of Counting Crows…

It’s all a lot of oysters, with no pearls.

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-Numero Tres

ah... Wednesday. Wednesday's can never be bad days. Prepare yourself for the enthralling muses of a woman who is trying to quit Dr. Pepper. Not a good thing for the psyche - but an excellent thing for the hips. That was too much information for the free public...

Nathan
If you haven't noticed the "take over the world" pattern with my boyfriends - you should. Next in line is Nathan. His dad was undercover DEA. So, surely--- I thought--- this was my ticket to world domination. Not so much. But, he did let me wear his really cool Miami Dolphins jacket one day at school when it was cold out. We were in Ms. Christian's 4th grade class. The only significant thing about Nathan actually occurred not to long ago. God has a hysterical sense of humor and is great st putting me in my place. I had developed this idea over the past few years that I was *gasp* better than my public school peers. I had become a bit haughty, actually. I'm embarrassed to write this, as this is really supposed to be a funny post. Nonetheless-- I'll continue with my soul-baring.

So... I had this whole "I-graduated-from-a-prestigious-university-at-a-young-age-and-I've-lived-a-purer-than-you-lifestyle" mentality when it came to folks I had attended school with. Mostly because they had become barefoot and pregnant or in Nathan's case-- worked at Harley's Cut Rate.

I go into Harley's several months back to pick up *cooking sherry* and lo-- there stands Nathan. I recognize him immediately. I usually recognize people way before they ever recognize me, so I was going to try and play it off like I was no one in particular. :sigh: It doesn't work. He knows it me-- and inquires as to why I'm in his liquor store.
"Well, to buy liquor, of course!" I reply.

I'm thinking to myself, "Great! Of all places to run into someone... a liquor store. Great! JUST GREAT! What's that going to say about me... argh!!" Anyway- this post is going south really quickly, so I'll end it straitway.

The moral of this lesson kids is this: Never, ever think to highly of one's self. It's a recipe for disaster and embarrassment. Not necessarily in that order either.

Chronicles of Boyfriendia-Numero Dos

feeling uninspired...

I've been giving the Chronicles serious thought. Who is worthy of the chronicles? Not too many to my displeasure. So, here is the much anticipated Numero Dos.

Philip
Philip was a great guy. He met the "Surfer Guy" boyfriend requirement that every girl has. (Yes.. there is a list of guy types out there. Before a girl goes off and gets hitched she has to date 5 out of the types!) Well... I say "Surfer Guy". As close to surfer type as you can get in podunk East Texas. Philip was the heir to an asphalt fortune and he was born the day after me. Our moms shared hospital rooms - so naturally one would think that our love was meant to be. Philip had this great smile... ah, just thinking about it still makes me a wee bit weak in the knees. Oh, wait-- that's just my caffeine kicking in. Nevermind.

Philip and I had a tumultuous relationship. You see... we both were elected officials at Montgomery Elementary (3rd grade) and at Northside Intermediate (5th grade). In the third grade - I ran for President-- and guess what??? So did The Asphalt King. He won, but I got the second highest number of votes, so I was the Vice President. We were destined to take over the world - one elementary school at a time.

Around Christmastime of our third grade year, Philip gave me a necklace. Then he broke up with me. I think for Raven Taliferro, who was WAY too tomboy'ish for me... but who cares?

THEN, (oh yes it gets better) Philip and I meet up again at the fifth grade presidential elections. We're both running for president... except this time it's all or nothing. If I lose... I lose. No consolotory Vice President. Just regular old Class Representative. All my friends are saying to just run for VP, cause there's no way I'll lose that race. Philip has pulled out all the stops with his fancy buttons that say "Vote for PHILIP". I've just got homemade posters plastered everywhere. Come on! It's the 5th grade for crying out loud!! Personally, I think there were illegal campaign contributions - but it's all water under the bridge now.

Anyway (sorry for the deviation), election day comes and we're required to give speeches. I put on my homemade dress (even though I wasn't homeschooled yet... the genes were already in place) and I must say.. this dress was AWESOME. I was red, yellow and denim striped and had the cute little sailor buttons on it. My speech BLEW Philip's out of the water... but he was more popular than me with the boys and the girls... so he WON. Yep. I lost to an asphalt magnate. Whaddya think of that? Anyway-- he went to A&M. So I should've known. Those state school boys will get 'ya everytime.

the series to end all series...

Shane is blogging about his sports moments and so is Mike. I think Vanessa is starting something about all her accomplishments. I've thought this through, and when you think of the main difference between boys and girls it's this-- the boys were playing sports and they girls were writing love notes. (except for me and I was playing golf... but that's another story)

So I've decided to chronicle my boyfriends. Dumb, you say? Yes. Hilarious- definitely.

Kyle
So we'll start with Kyle. You know everyone has a first - and he was mine. Kyle met all the basic requirements I had established: tall, dark and handsome. Kyle and I met in Ms. Trimble's 1st grade class. We both wanted to be astronauts and our favorite song in Music class was "My Little Dog Germs". We were both student council representatives for our class. We sat with our backs to each other in class, (I sat across from Escar Luna. One time, he threw up on his desk in class, right after we had returned from lunch. He had consumed his weight in chili dogs. Ick.) but we knew that when Recess came we could meet at the tiki hut on the playground and make plans to take over Montgomery Elementary. Our plan was to revolt against the third grade student council president, get married (I'd be Mrs. Kyle Brewer!!) and take over the school. Then we'd become astronauts and honeymoon on the moon.

You can probably guess what happened since my last name is still Rountree. His parents got divorced, he moved to Tyler... and the rest is history. I played in a golf tournament a couple of years ago with him. He wasn't taller than me anymore. And he didn't want to be an astronaut anymore either-- I asked.

*shrug*...I'm not a CSE

(a CSE is LETU lingo for a computer science engineer).

So I'm super frustrated this morning. I am trying to link several blogs to my site and it's not happening. When I changed the look of my blog several months ago I lost all that coding. *sigh*
This brings me to another problem. I just used the word "coding". How weird is that? I have a business degree. It's just weird to have knowledge of coding and HTML and stuff. Why do I know this? I went to school with Nerds. Real live ones. Just like you get out of the box!

And really the whole reason I was trying to link blogs was because of Jasien's blog. I wanted to link it before I forgot and while I was at it I figured I could add Brad, Corrie, Laura, Shane, Dre, Drew... and the list goes on.

On another blogworthy note: we almost burned the house down again. We've only owned it since March. And this will be Close Call #2. Read about the first one in my archives. So here's the scoop. Dre has been wanting me to teach her how to cook since she moved in. No big deal, right? Not when we're entertaining guests! And boys to boot! In a perfect world, we would have had a practice run-- but I'm rambling now, so back to the Story of the Flaming Tortillas.

Dre is keeping the food warm in the oven. All is going well-- I'm terribly nervous, but that's my nature. I ask Dre to make sure the oven is on 'warm' so that the food just does just that-- stays warm. We later discover that the "Broil" setting isn't the best way to do that. So, Laura pops through the kitchen and "smells something burning". My back was to the over- so I turn around to find flames leaping from the oven. Dre is paralyzed. ::cue superhero music::

So... being the Cooking Goddess/Rescuer that I am... I open the oven. MORE FLAMES. This is not good. I am having flashbacks of laying carpet and tile. Painting until I can only hold my arms above my head. (This isnt' good on a Sunday morning at a Baptist church) All that time spent helping Vanessa remodel that house... down the drain.

Dre is now screaming, "Do something, Beth! do something!" So, I grab the ever handy ladle (the one that helped me rescue Vanessa from a snake several weeks ago) and pull the plate from the oven. MORE FLAMES. I'm now realizing that oxygen=more fire. I guess I missed that lecture in science class. Laura is now yelling too. I'm assuming that they think their yelling is helping me. It's not... it's making me laugh. So, I grab a pot holder and grab the plate and take it into the front yard. When I come back into the house-- we realize that the boys will be here SOON. Not good. 'Cause if we want to make ourselves look like wife material (and our mothers have declared us all four Old Maids) we've got to eliminate the smoke smell. The smell good candle lighting ensues. The sashes are thrown open! (I've always wanted to say that.) And... the smell eliminated. Or at least the guys didn't make fun of us for it, in fact, they were super greatful.

All in all-- Dre's lesson went well.

...the wanderer...

So, I'm kickin' it at the parents house for a couple of days. Always a good thing. I rekindled the flame with Rhett, my brother's chocolate lab. That dog has more energy...

I was hanging out with my mom today and she started making fun of me for being an introverted extrovert. We started laughing because I get cranky when I haven't had enough "alone time". It's really hilarious. I come off as this super-social person, but in reality I'm really not.

On another note... this week has been tough for the girls on Redmon. We suffered out first loss together. We are so blessed to have each other to lean on during this difficult time. We lost a friend that has been with us since The Very Beginning. This friend was there late at night. She was one of those old souls who would listen as long as you talked and wouldn't mind if you balled up your fist and hit her when you were frustrated with life. She was a Gringo just like me, Laura and Dre. It took her awhile to get used to Vanessa's spanish accent and it's probably a good thing that our Gringo friend only understood english - cause then she wasn't able to understand the hateful things Vanessa would yell at her in espanol.

Our Gringo went on to Dryer Heaven this week. She had been ailing for the past month and we had several close calls. We thought we had lost her for good back in July-- but she made a comeback. She was strong for us. An extra heavy load of jeans did her in this week. Poor thing-- I think she was probably a smoker in her younger years. So... if you could be patient with the Redmon girls this week, we'd appreciate it. We're having to air dry all our clothes and whether we'll admit it or not... we're all Harriet Margarets!

1818 Redmon-- the Ghetto version

:cue music:
Presenting... the LADIES OF 1818 REDMON

She's responsible for making sweet tea an illegal beverage in the Southern States, her cooking skills are known throughout the land...
presenting HOMECAKE!
Your gangsta name: Homecake
How you get shot: Ridin' yo' low-rider (bike) to work.
Your weapon: Rusty switchblade you stole from a whitey.
Your bling: Fake silver chain.
Your ride: You can't afford no ride, wanksta.


Her weapon of choice is a spool of floss and she's known to have a drill handy too. Don't cross her if you haven't recently brushed...
presenting Homie G Boo!
Your gangsta name: Homie G Boo
How you get shot: Stealing some nigga's cornbread.
Your weapon: Curling iron you stole from yo' sister.
Your bling: Platinum fronts.
Your ride: BMW. (Black man walkin'.)


Clearly, this woman of integrity takes the cake in percentage points. She can make a mean empanada and her spanish is impeccable... even if I don't speak a lick.
Presenting Gangsta Slice!
Your gangsta name: Gangsta Slice
How you get shot: Stealing some nigga's cornbread.
Your weapon: Curling iron you stole from yo' sister.
Your bling: Platinum rims.
Your ride: You can't afford no ride, wanksta.


You put a football in any endzone this side of the Mississippi and she'll catch it. She's also known for her slammin' v-ball stats. Pretty much... she's a white Venus Williams with a touch of Mia Hamm, Lisa Leslie and Sheryl Swoopes thrown in for spice.
Presenting Lil' Johnson!
Your gangsta name: Lil' Johnson
How you get shot: Yo' homie caught you playin' Furcadia.
Your weapon: Beer bottle you stole from a trashcan.
Your bling: Fake silver chain.
Your ride: BMW. (Black man walkin'.)

The Invisible Man

well, I apologize for my long absence. I've been in the field working on a reconnaissance project I'll tell you about later.

To update you: humm.... busy, busy, busy! We (me, Vanessa, Laura & Dre) hosted a BAZILLION people over at house on Sunday night. Actually- official numbers are more like 25'ish. Somehow we had this "International Dinner Night" theme going. We cooked Thai soup... and various other items that were palatable to one's cultured taste buds.

The early bird boys washed our cars!! How sweet of them! Then- the football game to end all football games took place. The artificial turf and goal posts we ordered for the front yard haven't arrived so we went over to Maid Rite Stadium. Now... I must tell you - there are several versions of this story floating around (read Stevo & Shane ID) but you must know that THE TRUTH IS ON THIS BLOG!

Here's what really happened. I'll start at the beginning. We sided up teams based on nothing at all: sooo... Dre & I were on a team with Stacy, Clinton and Brad/Joey (they subbed for each other). Shane ID, Vanessa, Laura, Stevo and TC were on the other team. Things were progressing along nicely. Our plan was to wear 'em down, hold out to the very end and then blitz them with all we had. It was working... until they got so tired that they QUIT. That's right... in the middle of a play they walked off the field. I can hardly call it sportsman-like. Here's what got them in the gut: they threw a Hail Mary pass as a futile attempt to scare us into quitting (but we're not quitters...) and WE INTERCEPTED IT! God is good! So, we told them that if we were to score on the next play we'd call it even. (The score was 4-2) They half heartedly agreed and we started the play. But... when they saw Dre running the touchdown in, THEY WALKED--actually they RAN off the field. Her lightening quick legs and fastidious foot action scared them sooo bad they could only think to run in the opposite direction lest they get in between her and the end zone and be trampled!

So, a continuation will continue at Made Rite Stadium next Sunday 5PM CST. Tickets can be purchased through this site.

As of football wasn't enough vigorous activity for the evening- the guys felt like we needed to hold our own Olympics via the 1986 Nintendo. Yes... I have a working (albeit persnickety) old school Nintendo. Got the track pad, gun and everything. Get's me lots of points with the menfolk. They date me 'cause of all the video games I have. We had soooo much fun. Innocent fun! (See Mom & Dad...)

..dadgum foreigners...

Ok, so I'm on the phone with Expedia (that's who we book our airline flights through) and this lady doesn't speak very good English and she's trying to tell me what I can and can't do with my credit card. I don't think so. Then, she's trying to tell that I'm over my limit. Well... I beg to differ. The balance is paid in full every month and my credit limit is WAY MORE than I'll ever need. Ok... so I'm not opposed to foreign people. They're great. They make minimum wage worth it... (you really don't want me to go there...)

So, she's basically trying to booko the flight with me over the phone doing the EXACT same thing. CRAZY! All of this... written while I've been talking to her in LOUD, SLOW english.

...you never know...

Man...the only reason I'm posting is because of the persistence of others. I never quite realized how quickly the world shuts down when I posting. I'm kinda tired... and mystified... so I think I'll go. I promise for exciting stories about killing a snake with a ladle and much, much more.

Brown is the new blonde...

I've temporarily returned to Bloggerland. I lay in bed every night and compose what I think are *awesome* entries and then I sit down at this fine machine and *poof* --- vanished into thin air. I know I've talked about this before... but I become more and more befuddled as this continues to happen.

Things have been right-o crazy at this joint. Kids have been arriving and I really don't think registration will ever end. The weekend proved to be a much needed fun time before school starts. I love how when the week starts I have all these "weekend plans". The actual weekend plans are always so different than what I orginally plan. For example--- this weekend was the Tight Lies Tour and nine holes at Wood Hollow with Shane. Man, oh man... can we just say that I might marry my six iron. He gave me more lovin' than I've ever gotten in my entire life! Seriously... and my putter... she's just a ho! Gettin' all around town. I think Shane likes her! ;-)

I wish I could just play golf everyday. It really is one of the better 7 Wonders of the Modern World. I need to just live on a golf course. You don't have to talk or answer any questions. It's just you and the ball. And maybe a few divots. I had a wonderful discovery this weekend...

It's confirmed.. I HAVE ADD!!

Yep... and here's why! When I golf, I always lose track of my score. I can't remember from one shot to the next because this is what happens: I tee off... and by the time I walk the 100 some odd yards to my ball I've thought about lots of stuff... and then I hit again... and I'm still thinking about whatever I was thinking about... and the next thing I know I'm two putting and I can't remember how I got there!!

Potcake informed me several weeks ago that I was ADD. She had read an article in Newsweek or TIME or USA Today about adults with ADD and she's convinced that I have it. The more I think about it... the more she's right. I have a hard time focusing when people are talking to me and there is a lot of other stuff going on to distract me. At the same time... I can tune out people at work. I get in my cubicle and just go to town... never look up. Pat Green in the CD player and I'm good to go. So maybe I need to see someone...

Well... I best be gettin' er dun!

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean I can feel you like a notion that won’t seem to let me go
Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you’re here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I’m lost something tells me you’re here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

And every word I didn’t say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn’t dance before
And every sunset that we’ll miss I’ll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won’t pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me there you are to show me

Back To You...

It seems like my last few posts are MIA. I was in The Woodlands-- using dial-up... enough said. So... I guess I'll start from then. Whoa... that was a week ago! Yikes!

First things first. I made peace with The Woodlands. Our differences go way back. We've decided that since we are both grown-ups, we can be civil for everyone else's sake. Plus, there are a lot of good concerts at the Pavilion and it's just not fair for me to miss out on that.

Can I just say that Casting Crowns rock? I wanna be them when I grow up!! Well, maybe not "them" (you think I have multiple personality issues now...) but maybe just the chick with the fiddle/violin. I could so be her! Actually-- I'm already in a band!! You didn't know? Yeah... I don't want everyone knowing. I'm the drummer, actually. When the back-up vocalist is sick or not wanting to strain her vocal chords I do a little back-up vocals too. The back-up vocalist plays acoustic, too. The lead singer is on keyboard. We pretty much rock the house.

We're actually making an appearance on Monday night. I can't disclose the location because our agent is really picky about that kind of stuff. Just imagine though... two admissions counselors and a dental hygenist. It doesn't get much better than that...

Just for the record-- we all three have our own bodyguards. That's three bodyguards. So be afraid-- be very afraid.

As I sit typing I'm also whining to my fellow band members. They failed to mention how sore water skiing and jet skiing will make you! That's rude of them.

For anyone caring about baseball movies.... (I'm figuring Mike is the only one) I watched The Natural and Bad News Bears last night. The rotten thing is that it put me in bed at 2 AM!! I was a grouchy girl this morning...

It was worth it though. The guys came over and we made pizza and watched the Olympics. About those Olympics... I have only two gripes. Don't think I'm un-patriotic or anything but those guys look gay in those crowns they make them wear. Not to mention that NASCAR isn't on either. I caught a golf tournament this afternoon so that made it all better. My Sunday just isn't complete without some NASCAR or a good golf tourney on the telly. I should get to bed... this week holds promise! I've got a 5K on Saturday and the Pat Green concert too!


Much love to my Potcake who's summer ended this weekend. You're a cavity fightin' princess-diva!! When you walk in May-- I'll be there in my best dress! *This summer was the most fun!*

WYWYWBM #10: She's in a rock band!

persnickety Pineapple...

ARGH!! ARGH ARGH ARGH! ::RAWR::

I am soooo frustrated with myself. I started cooking supper this evening and decided to put on a cake. Simple, right? Not so much. There was more cake batter than anticipated and because I’m a DORK I just put it all in the skillet (cause I was making a pineapple upside down cake) and now I have a mess on my hands.

The cake began rising and its contents spilling onto the bottom of the oven and (here comes the good part…) BURNING. So, now I have a smoky house on my hands. Not good. I was able to get a mini-nap this afternoon but woke up pretty grumpy. The cake issue isn’t helping. I guess I can’t learn if I don’t make mistakes. But, I HATE making mistakes. And the grumpiness is still here. I seem to get in these moods most every Sunday evening. It’s like I realize the previous week is over and I accomplished very little which means I have even more to accomplish in the upcoming week. Whoever you are—bless you for reading this cause my whining is only going to get worse.

I just realized that I don’t have a free weekend for the next month. Fun, huh? Please, please, please realize that I realize I’m a whining, ungrateful soul right now. I realize that. I have no reason to whine. None at all. I am blessed to be enjoying my most favorite time of life, ever. I can’t imagine it getting any better than it is right now. A friend and I were bemoaning friendships gone awry and how disappointed we were when things happened that we would never have bargained for. The more I think about it though – the more I am happy for that. I’m happy that the cream of the crop are sticking it out. There’s a lot of transition right now and I want to encourage her! Those that play AND CRY together – stay together. [Whenever that’s put on a Hallmark card – make sure I get the credit J]

It’s seems like everyone is fighting the end of summer, so to make it easier here’s my BEST OF SUMMER 2004 list:

*riding in a new truck!!
*oh… the beauty of Grand Bahama Island
*knowing a real, live POTCAKE
*watching some drive off in the golf cart with it STILL plugged into the charger
*dumping cold water on that same person while said person was showering
*harassing POTCAKE at work
*harassing the man in the new truck about his caloric knowledge of Krispy Kreme & Starbucks
*a BLISSful wedding!
*NASCAR
*playing a game that prohibited mentioning anyone male… and if you did you had to remove an article of clothing… a strip poker of sorts…
*sweet tea
*motorcycle rides after an evening jog
*late night talks on the golf cart
*customized ring tones

the online version of I NEVER...

Ok, so in my I'm-having-to-go-on-a-business-trip-that-I-don't-wanna angstI decided to rataliate by blogging. *snicker*snicker*

(x)- you've done it
(_)- you haven't
(?) -not sure


(_) been drunk
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(_) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(_) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(_) been in a fist fight
(_) snuck out of my parent's house
(_) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(_) ever dated someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested
(_) made out with a stranger
(_) celebrated New Years in Times Square
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(_) celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(_) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(_) cut myself on purpose
(_) seen someone die
(_) been to Africa
(_) had a crush on one of my Xanga friends
(x) slapped someone I loved
(x) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival/fetish ball
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(_) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(_) Thrown up in a bar
(_) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
(_) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
(_) Been moshing at a concert
(x) had feelings for someone you knew only online
(_) had plastic surgery
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(x) gone to college
(x)graduated college
(_) tried killing yourself
(x) thought about trying to kill yourself
(x) taken painkillers ... only those prescribed for me
(x) miss someone right now... my Mom!!!

Accessories are Necessities

First off... take a seat. Yes, pull up a plush chair and pour yourself a cold one. (a "cold one" meaning a coke, sweet tea... that sorta thing)

This is gonna be a long one simply because I've neglected My Precious for several days.

Here's to Monday's--
Ok so I head out the door for work on Monday AM. I'm really proud of myself because I've been arriving in the office by 8:15-8:30 for the past two weeks and I'm just p-r-o-u-d. So, since I have a can't-miss-even-if-I'm-dying meeting on Mondays, this helps my arrive by 8:30 habit. I'm not feeling fabulous about my outfit either. If you're a girl-- you'll get that. I arrive at work and a downpour ensues. I'm bending over to reach onto my trunk to get my umbrella and I'm SOAKED!

Then... I'm COLD and WET. Ick. Bad hair. Ick ick ick. So I head to the first of meetings that will last until lunch. I'm not exagerrating either. I'm talking consecutive meetings until noon. Who said having a job was fun?? THEY LIED.

Things got better. The sun came out and I got a phone call that allowed me to vent! :-)

As I'm typing I'm getting frustrated because I had all these funny things to put on here and now *poof* they're gone! Vanished into thin air! Argh...

So to continue with my incessant ramblings--
I have to be the MOST BLESSED person alive. Seriously. I get so frustrated with myself when I doubt God. I always have a smidge of doubt that this time is the time I will crater. Yep... folks the ship is going down -- I'll think to myself. But God comes along-- 100% of the time -- and sends a friend or some ray of light. Not to sound like Madonna, but I do hum that song when those blessings happen! I got to see my friend PB down at the Print Shop today! It was too cool seeing her in her element with all those papers and machines and ink. Just made me wanna buy school supplies.

Speaking of which-- I really like the erasers that you stuck on the top of your pencils. They were shaped like little caps for the pencils to wear and came in different colors. Weren't those cool??

Then, click pencils came into being. The ones with the retractable lead. Yeah, baby. Talk about technology. Erasable pens too. I mean-- some one was thinking when they thought of those. I mean... the ink's there one minute... and BAMMM!! (Emeril style) gone the next. It was perfect for my sixth grade, fickle heart. (We weren't allowed to use erasable pens until we were sixth graders) I could easily love Trent one minute and Patrick the next. Ahh... when things weren't complicated. All you had to do was play MASH and your life plan was set.

WYWYWBM #9: "....you had me at hello...." --Kenny Chesney

Butt Cancer

Ok, so the title of my blog is not the most feminine thing to say, but I had an "experience" today. I was working on something that required me to stick my cell phone in the back pocket of my oh-so-cute-Ralph-Lauren-denim-skirt-that-I-got-on-clearance-at-Macy's-in-LA-last-March.

To be specific, it was in my back, right pocket. Everything is fine... for awhile. I notice awhile later that the specific area in question felt different than the rest of my body. A little tingly. Strange. It probably doesn't help that last week I was reading on the Verizon website about the radiation that cell phones give off and how it *shouldn't* be harmful.

I agree--- it *shouldn't* be... but that doesn't keep it from actually being harmful. Weird corporate psycho America. All about the almighty dollar.

God has been wrapping his arms around me the past few days. These friends of mine are just blessing me all over the place.

WYWYBM #8: She dances with the one that brought her.

We Be Throwed

on the title of my blog...
There's this weird place on Eastman (south of Birdsong, but north of I20) that has "We Be Throwed" as the title of said establishment. What the heck does that mean? "WE BE THROWED..." I mean, I've never used that in conversation and I doubt Paris Hilton has either. Speaking of which... she really should come visit Longview. That's be hilarious. She could preview LETU with all our boys that "be throwed". Hee hee. I snuck that 'lil diddy in there.

So next time you ask me how my family is and I say, "We be throwed!" -- you'll know.

humm.... it's been so long since I wrote that I have a ton to write and can't write. Make any sense? Didn't think so. I'll start...

I matched today! EVERYTHING matched... think really hard about that and it'll eventually come to you. There aren't too many hysterical/dramatic/exciting things going on. I'm just living a typical life: working, trying to pay the bills and keep everybody happy.

Oh wait! There is one exciting thing! I watched The Sixth Sense on Saturday night. Woah. I've always like M. Night's stuff because I think he's brilliant and that we're probably related, but this movie was the coolest. I abhor scary movies and was pleased as punch that this movie wasn't scary so much as thought provoking. It makes you think and try and figure out the symbolism, etc. etc. I love symbolism and so I was sold.

Now, I'm definitely feeling the need to see The Village. I think I can handle it.

I'm letting this evening be my "breather". Folks- let me just be completely real with you... I don't think I've ever been this stressed before in my entire life and I think I'm handling it quite well if I do say so myself. This may sound like I'm talking out of both sides of my mouth, but I am so blessed to even breathe. I know that God has a plan. He redeems me every morning. I don't know when life will be easy, actually. 'Cause your either entering a crisis, in the middle of a crisis or ending a crisis. *LOL*

I guess I'm just a dramatic girl, huh? Actually- the things that stress me out aren't silly at all... or at least I don't think so. The one weird thing about blogging is that's its so vague. I mean, people write about being stressed and sad or in love or whatever it is that's taking precedent but you don't ever really know what's going on. So I'll just tell you what's up with me.

My Mom has cancer and that's really stressful. I'd like to think it's "just another bump in the road" but it isn't. It's tough. Millions of people have it so much worse than she does and even more people are in the exact same situation she is, but it's still hard. She's really sick. Someone has to do everything for her and I can't be with her all the time and I hate that. It's pretty much all I can think about.

You know what else? When you get out of college it's not lots of money, a cool new car and a swank corner office with a hot assistant/secretary (boy secretaries are called assistants). It's BILLS and 'stickin it to tha man (i.e. aww... I typed that quote and now I can't remember the name of the movie... well, I'll leave the quote up and if you guys can remember the movie stick a note in my chatterbox).

I don't want to depress anyone... oh- no, no, no. It is a lot of fun. But it just isn't what I expected. Life throws you major curves. The awesome thing is that I am more responsible and know more about who I am than ever before.

Guess what I discovered? I LIKE BASEBALL. and Texas A&M over UT. I LIKE SPORTS, A LOT. And that's ok!! I'm an East Texas girl who would marry Dale Jr. in a heart beat even though he doesn't meet any of The Check List's requirements. Ah... The Check List. It's a real artifact, actually. Many a man has been destroyed by it.

...The Check List. It has even been revamped to include Divorced. Never thought we'd have to add that one, huh? Ok... wow I really went chasing rabbits there didn't I? Whew. Ladies & gentlemen I bid you farewell with this final remark (confidential to Laura) GIT'ER DUN!!

WYWYBM #7-- 'Cause she'll watch Blue Collar Comedy Tour with you... and LAUGH!

calling the wammmmbulance

I don't know why I dread posting. It's not like it hurts or anything. Maybe I'm just weird. Oh, wait... I am!!!

Maybe it's the fact that I am super sick of writing about ME! I mean-- contrary to popular belief-- it's not all about ME. I guess that's the point of a blog though-- to write about one's self and events.

This weekend was fun. Long... but fun! Plus-- I'm on vacation this week! Actually-- I'm telecommunting. Isn't that weird? I'm actually old enough to telecommute. Who knew?? I headed to Dallas to pick up my sister's new car and couldn't not stop at Sam Moon. 4000 square feet of heaven. The last time I was there I made the mistake of taking Bryan. HILARIOUS. First off, he's super smart. Totally cool-- but still super smart. The boy graduated cum laude from A&M. I feel dumb even breathing in his presence. Anyway, he's with me and the conversation goes something like this:

him: "honey-- why aren't there any parking spaces?"
me: "it's always this busy on Saturday... it's ok"
him: "is there a special sale or something??"
me: "EVERYDAY is sale day at Sam Moon"
him: "ok... well, I'll just go look at the guy stuff"
me: "ok, keep your cell on... meet me here (and I point to a bench outside the store) in an hour?"
him: "yeah... an hour sounds fine. Any reason why I'm the only guy around here...."
(he begins to realize what is happening here... his mom calls and starts to make fun of him as, does his sister, Stacey)

*five minutes later*

him: "BETH... this is madness. I don't understand you.... and all these purses... and all these other women.... what is this... a Mary Kay convention on crack?..."

Ok- so that was a really long way of me telling you this one lesson learned: boyfriends don't do well at Sam Moon.

::back to the rest of the story::
So I head to Sam Moon sans the boyfriend and have a lovely time. Sunday ::key the music:: DUM DUM DUMMM... I wake up with super splitting headache. Yikes. I head to church because, well... it's Sunday and I 'm long overdue on some serious worship. It keeps getting worse though. I'm leaving church and my friend Danny feels the need to let me know-- right then--right there--- that David won't be at the lake tomorrow, he mumbles somthing about Houston and politics and making sure I'm not where he (meaning David) is and all that jazz. Well, at this point in the game I'm not thinking I'll live to wakeboard--- David Hughes present or not.

Driving home, my head starts getting all fuzzy and my vision is funny. I make it in the back door and pretty much collapse onto the living room floor. (Gracias Vanessa for vaccuming yesterday.) I'll leave the gory details out for the faint of heart... but Bryan (Dre's Bryan--not my Bryan) now knows me on a totally different level. Dr. Pepper helped though! :-)

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	Sleep Apnea Woman
Super Power	Irresistable Sexuality
Enemy	Michael Jackson
Mode Of Transportation	Motorcycle
Weapon	Beer Bottle
Quiz created with MemeGen!

WYWYWBM #6: She won't make you go to Sam Moon. Ever.

Another Stupid Quiz Thing

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	everlasting
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

I figured I should update before the blogger Nazis jump on my back again. I'm alive! I had such a great weekend. God's amazing love is extravagant.

WYWYWBM #5- Her current RBA is .333! Yeah baby! Just call her Mrs. Tejada! (for those who aren't up on the baseball scene... Mr. Tejada won the Home Run Derby)

Heavens to Betsy...

welp... at norabing's insistence I will post. Lord have mercy it's gonna be three miles long though.

I'll work my way backwards from today...
Wednesday July 13, 2004
I'm at my parents- as is the unofficial every other Wednesday custom. Mom had chemo on Monday and she's always pretty sick. I get to their house and am welcomed by a HUGE pile of laundry. The way I figure... how much can three people dirty up? A LOT. I swear my brother must dress in drag. The boy has more clothes than I do. I SWEAR. I am not exaggerating on this one. Name brand too. He's worse than a $2.00 "ho". hee hee

When I am at my parents... it's just different. I clean and cook. And it feels really weird.

On another note... I'M STILL PEELING! Give it up already. I look like a patch work quilt. Geez. The Bahamas left an indelible mark! argh... EDGE is tomorrow. I'm excited because I have a really cool partner helping me with my game. DMac is gonna represent! (ok, side note--> is it old to say "represent"? I feel like it's outta style...)

Tuesday July 12, 2004
Can we say, "BETH IS A CREAM PUFF?" All together now... So three miles later I'm done. I sweat a lot. While I was running my butt off I got to thinking about the summer in apartment with Clara and Nora. HYSTERICAL. That about sums it up. But... Clara sweated profusely too. She would hang her clothes out to dry every day because they were so nasty and it's really hard to wash everyday at LU. Thankfully... I can wash my workout clothes everyday. Ah, blessings.

As I'm watching AL vs NL (all star baseball game)and I have issues. What team do I root for? I really like the Yankees. It goes against everything in me, but I just like 'em. The Rangers are growing on me. I hate the 'Stros. Here's the reason why: people call them "the 'Stros". That's so gay. If you're gonna talk about 'em--- call them the Astros. We don't call the Rangers the "Gers" do we? the Yankees the "Kees". I didn't think so. Therefore the "Stro's" are gay.

Monday July 11, 2004
We whooped EBC-White Oak in softball tonight. The score was 22-2. Here's the scoop. I'm playing with FUMC-White Oak because Kym (MVB's fiance) goes to church there. So, I'm sitting in the dug out sweating buckets-- I mean buckets. No one else is even glistening. I think I have a problem. I am mortified because there are cute guys swarming and I look like a drowned rat attempting to play catcher. Why does this always happen to me? Will I ever be the Whitney Gibson of the world? I see her at Parkeway and just cry because the home chick doesn't sweat. She can make it through a work out with ALL her makeup intact. Mine's gone in 2 seconds. Literally. The front of my shirt has all my make-up on it from me attempting to "dab" my forehead. It's not as bad as last week... I had to ride home from the game between two guys and I smelled worse than they did!

Wednesday July 7, 2004
The BAHAMAS were awesome! Wow. I'm so toasty though. I came to terms with a lot of stuff there. My friend Laura went with me and she's the best traveler ever. Our personalities compliment each other so well. I'll post pics soon.

WYWYWBM #4: She's a world traveling goddess that still wears a cowboy hat and says "Yes ma'am" to the flight attendant.

ain't no sunshine...

well. it's officially crazy. I am officially crazy. Let me just tell you how much I hate cancer. I hated it before. I was involved in Relay for Life. I gave to the American Cancer Society on a regular basis. In fact, it was the only organization that I gave to regularly.

Now, I'm glad. Cancer is horrible. It's an awful thing that steals people's lives. I hate it. I thought that there wasn't anything that could hurt any worse than a broken relationship. That's the most hurt that I had ever felt. That pain is infinitesimal in comparison to having cancer strike one's family. It the most awful, painful, incomprehensible thing to ever exist. Once again I will say-- I hate it.

Amidst all this, extremely good things happen. I went running today and it began to rain. I was far from home too. I am having a hard time adjusting my workout schedule and I even feel selfish when I leave the house, but I need the time to myself. Driving to and from work in the car doesn't count because my cell phone still exists there! :sigh: that thing will be the death of me yet.

Anyway, to run in the rain was like God giving me a bath. When you're a little kid a your mom bathes you it's just fun! That's how it felt today.

You know what else- I have awesome friends. My friend Mike just walked up to me today and said, "Beth, you are so beautiful." I was shocked! He said it to me last week and I made a reference to it, but I want to just thank Mike for being so encouraging. The even cooler thing is that he's like that with everyone! Mike then went on to tell me that I was going to make some man so very happy and whoever "got me" was one lucky guy. That shocked me even more! Thank you, Mike. You'll never be able to comprehend how much that meant.

And the third and final good thing of Tuesday was that Bryan called. Actually is wasn't that he called... it was when he called. I had left my parents house and was headed to work. I was on the verge of tears, but was afraid if I started crying I wouldn't be able to see the road. My cell phone rings and it's his custom ringtone. I begin bawling. He just said that he was thinking about me and wanted to call and check on me. I cried and he listened. I kept crying and he just let me cry while he spoke words of encouragement.

In lieu of WYWYWBM-#3 I want to thank all the people who have concerned themselves with me in some form or fashion. I never get sick of answering, "How's your Mom?" "Is your Mom ok?" I know they all care! Crazy, huh? So, if you've read this far tack your name on to the list of Emmy & Shawn, Brad, Katherine, Vanessa, Laura, Dre, Megan, Bryan, Mike...

B	Boisterous
E	Elitist
T	Technological
H	Hot

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

SaturDate with the Mother

So, shopping always makes things better right?

I thought so too. Let me just tell you! Mom and I go and pick out her wig and it's fun, but to add some brightness to our seemingly endless days of "cancer chores" we decide to hit up our favorite thrift stores. If you know my mom--- you know she LOVES thrift stores. For that matter, so do I. You can find some really awesome deals.

Plus... this time next week I'll be in the Bahamas and some "beach clothes" (aka things you'll only see me wear once and thus should not be paid full price for) were in order.

I've been wanting some white pants. But not in a FREAKIN SIZE 10!!! Yes, ladies-- I've joined the fleet of women who wear double digits on the lowers! I mean... I've always worn doubles on the top. I mean-- bras ALWAYS make you feel bad when they tell you you're a stinkin' 32!!! That sounds so HUGE!!!

I always consoled myself with the fact that I was a 6 or 8 or whatever. But NO!! Never again! I'm a 10!!! It's not even a mistake... like a little girl's size 10 or anything. It's for real!

*laugh while you can! I will NOT let this happen again*


WYWYWBM #2- I'm not afraid to purchase from a thrift store! Which COULD mean that I'm not a Harriet Margaret! (aka high maintenace)

"Reasons Why I Should Be Your Girlfriend"

Boy, I am exhausted. That's the only bad thing about my job--- exhaustion. Other than that-- we're cool. I am only writing tonight because if I don't, it'll break my blog routing and I'll never post again. Which means Brad and Kat and everyone else will harass me until I do. I do have a little tidbit for Brad though. Brad, you've inspired me with your "Things I Want in a Girlfriend" list. I've deciding to warp it to my suiting- and (here comes my Marketing degree in full force) make a "Reasons Why I Should Be Your Girlfriend" list.

Yes, I will be tooting my own horn. Kinda. Since I am not on the market we should entitle the list "Why You Wish You Were Beth's Man". Anyway. Brad-- this Bud's for you.

WYWYWBM #1- The baseball team thinks she's hot. Just ask Mike VanBrocklin and Dave Kennedy. (Doesn't every man want a woman that other guys think are H-O-T?)

How To Make A Bethie Lou

How to make a Bethie Lou

Ingredients: 1 part pride 5 parts silliness 5 parts joy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lustfulness to taste! Do not overindulge!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Every Woman Should...

Every woman should...
know how to use a stick shift;
a plunger;
understand the difference between don’t tell a soul and don’t tell a soul I mean it; know her mind;
change it;
have protection handy;
but not too handy;
use special china;
and special underwear;
for no special reason;
over commit;
come through;
refuse to do it again;
do it again;
be able to discuss 1st and 10;
have better things to do;
set boundaries;
go camping;
grow something;
dance crazy all alone;
stare at the phone;
get dressed in 5 minutes;
be a princess;
get over it;
believe in the perfect man;
get over it;
read;
walk;
flirt;
shock;
listen;
sing;
thank God;
be single and like it;
a lot;
raise a child;
or not;
see a wrinkle and be reminded of her youth;
not her age.

The Return of KittyH

So... today couldn't have been more perfect. Until KittyH was mentioned. Let me just set the story up, k?

My friend 'Chelle came over and spent the night with me--- which was a total surprise to me! I went to work and got a lot done. Then, I headed to the gym as usual! Me & my thirds then headed to Laura's softball game and ate at Chicken Express afterwards. It was a perfect evening!! We go rent a few movies and officially declare Friday night as "Ladies Night" and head to the house to shower up and start the movies.

Things are so perfect I could just cry! Then Laura's friend calls to see if he can come so that she can stitch him up from a dirtbike crash and he proceeds to mention... :cue music: dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmm KittyH. Yeah. Great. I could have gone a lifetime without having to discuss that issue. I hate being caught off guard. I had totally let my guard down and had just started letting myself actually ENJOY myself and WHAM... he's baaaaaaacckkk!!

:sigh:
Why, Lord? Why can't I just be left to my own devices? Why can't you just make it all go away? Why do I have to be reminded of the past? Is it so I won't make the same mistake again? What are you calling me to? I really don't understand. It has been two years and I still don't understand. I wish that things would have never changed. But praise God that they did. I would have died in that situation--- if left long term.

It's funny how I'm writing about this now. I haven't thought about this stuff in so long. Ages it seems like... and in the past couple of weeks it has been so prominent in my thoughts.

I do know that -- even though I can't see it -- there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

my new mantra...

My new mantra...

life is more than money
time was never money
time was never cash,
life is still more than girls
life is more than hundred dollar bills
and oh the town fills
life more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
all the riches of the kings
and up in wills we got information in the information age
but do we know what life is
outside of our conveinent Lexus cages

*Switchfoot*
More

Well, folks-- I've officially re-entered Singledom for the second time in as many months. Let me just tell you that Thursday night was a "come to Jesus night". I'll spare you the details-- but it involved sushi, incessant phone calls from (& to) Bryan and lots of ginger ale.

I guess it goes without saying that I probably won't eat sushi for a while. But that DANG Longview roll was soooooooooooooooooooooo good. Seriously, it was awesome. The girls and I have been playing Scrabble every night and nothing has ever made me feel more stupid. Seriously- it's a downer. I guess I better get back to work. More "philosophical" thoughts later.

So yesterday ended at 4 AM and began again promptly at 8 AM. I really can't explain the feelings of the past 24 hours. Yesterday evening was chaos. Bryan did something really sweet though. He fixed dinner and brought me flowers. What more can a girl aske for, huh? Things are just complicated though. Will it ever be a "normal" relationship where we feel totally comfortable with each other? I assume it will, but I'm just not sure. I'm ok with the not sure thing though. I just look at Taber & Adam and wonder what the deal is. How'd they find each other? How'd they know it was "for real"?

I'm always reading other people's blogs and it totally cramps my style 'cause I feel the need to be totally philosophical in my bloggie.

For posterity's sake... I have had SEVERAL philosophical thoughts this past week. As I was sitting on the tarmac at O'Hare I was confronted with the fact that life throws you curves. But... as a Rountree assume to expect an unusual amount. But, more curves mean more blessings in the long run.

I also realize how young and stupid I am. I mean... does it ever get better. Will there ever be a day when I will always say the "right" things, wear the "right" outfit, and just do the "right" thing in general?

Also- will I ever know what I really want? It changes every stinkin day and I can't tolerate my own fickleness for much longer.

Ok.. here's really what you want to know...
Bryan is coming up this weekend for Lauren's wedding. I'm excited--- but in all honesty I'm too tired to really care or become ecstatic. We are both so busy right now. I wonder if this relationship will ever be successful. He has his law firm stuff and I'm always on the road. I swear-- our cell bill is going to be outrageous this month. I guess that's why you date an attorney though? ;-)


I spilled coffee on myself this morning, which really wasn't that unordinary until I thought "How often do I really spill stuff on myself?". Never. It's one of those weird things about growing up. You quit falling down and you quit spilling stuff on yourself. I mean, when I was a kid I'd come home from school with stuff all down the front of my shirt. I know my Mom was about to kill me--- and now that I think about it I wonder how it all got there. Everyday I come in contact with tons of stuff: pen ink, coffee, Dr Pepper, food-- and most of the time none of it ever makes contact with my clothing. Yes... folks, Beth is officially WEIRD. But, hopefully you already knew that.

I am soooooooooooooo tired. My flight home from my conference was held up in Chicago and I didn't get home until 2 AM when I was supposed to be home at 6:30 PM. I laugh when I look at myself and think that I'm a grown up. I mean--- I just came home from a CONFERENCE! A business trip!! I use those words in everyday conversation and I just crack myself up. I am responsible for money and people's lives and stuff. All while I feel like the 16 year old that just kissed David Hughes. Ahh... those were the olden days. (Notice that I didn't say golden)

It's funny how when I type things just come up. This may sound awful, but I'd practically forgotten about David. Sheesh. That's awful. He was in my life for 5 years. I haven't done it on purpose or anything. Don't mistake the casual attitude for carelessness. It's just that the "me" that was then is soooo not me. I can't really say that the "me" I am right now is "me" either.... but still. I am so much not who I was then. I can honestly say that I'm better. (Don't mistake that for being better than him... I'm not. I'm not any better than the next guy).

I'm a better believer. A better listener. A better friend. A better woman. Gosh-- truly refinement by fire is an awesome thing God does to His children. It's so awesome to be on the other side and say, "God, who am I to be CHOSEN to be refined for Your glory and goodness?" I think that's why he does those things. I would have never chosen it for myself.

Would Bryan have chosen divorce? No, but he's better for it. Would my family have chosen cancer for my Mom? No. What about the awful separation we're going through? Never. But we rest assured that on the other side we will be the better for it. And not for us, but for HIM.

WORDS WOMEN USE
******************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint! Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Happy Memorial Day! Boy... I sure have a lot of interesting quotes to post from this weekend! My favorite one is this:

"Well...if I wouldna blazed my own trail... I wouldna have found you!"

"Brad, I mean, Beth, I mean Bryan.... whoever you are.. COME ON!! it's time to go!!"

I like having a blog soooo much! It's tons better than journaling the old school way. This weekend consisted of Sam Moon, the pool and lots-o-fun-in-the-sun! Bryan is a BBQ guru, so the only thing out of the ordinary we did was go to this BBQ joint he read about in his precious Texas Monthly. I was impressed! The ribs were TO DIE for! Ask Brad too. I think we all agreed. Abercrombie had a great sale, so that was fun to. Overall- this was a weekend that would allow me to relax and re-group before the summer starts. It's going to be hardcore. Mom's surgery is on Thursday--that's her birthday. Doesn't that stink?

Then we start chemo! Yippee! We've got everything ready-- hats, scarves, wigs (also known as a cranial prosthesis). Then, on Saturday I leave for a business trip and I come home to a wedding. CRAZY. Welp... more later today when I can actually think!

"Life is all about ass.. you're either covering it up, laughing it off, kissing it, or trying to get it!"

OK. Where to start. It sucks to be a girl. Then again... it really rocks. You know, I coulda told you my mom had cancer. Now, we just know it for sure. Dad says that we'll find out treatment options.

I accidentally got caught in VP Cheney's motorcade today. It was so beautiful. I cried. Yes... very dumb, I know, but patriotism is sooo beautiful.

Everyday as I travel around I always think up AWESOME, KICK ASS posts, but when sit down and this here contraption I lose myself.

Back to the VP Cheney thing... snipers were on the railroad tracks above the road that he was driving on. Then, the suburban behind him had all the Secret Service guys in it with guns too!! Isn't that SCHWEET??? I love cool stuff like that. I know, I know... girls are supposed to like make-up and shoes and all that icing. And I do. But still- there is nothing like an awesome Citation X parked out at GGG glistenin in the sun or really cool CIA/Secret Service guys protecting the VP.

Welp- I'll be out with my peas and carrots tomorrow so I better jet.

Peace, Love & Pat Green