my my my. [to be said while sighing] Well, summer has started and yet ended at the same time. Summer in the traditional since has started. I can wear flip flops and lip shine and my hair in a messy up do. But... summer has ended because school has started.

I'm really trying hard to understand a lot of things right now. I know God, in all his amazingness, has brought me to where I am today and if it wasn't His doing, it really doesn't matter because He can use me regardless. Still, it's so difficult. I grow weary with the daily struggle. But, I have grit that I never knew I had too--- so it's all good. I really want to know what's going on though!! I am not a patient waiter!! I do not wait well!

I am being very random and skipping aroung a lot, but it all makes sense to me and.... this is "all about me" is it not? I still love David very much and want him to be happy. I see the destructive tendencies and just ache. I want to hold him and hug him and let him know that he is perfect just they way he is. He doesn't have to have all this cool "stuff" for people to like him. His personality and good heart is enough! I want him to have the personal satisfaction of being commited to something and completing that. I want him to know that he is making a difference in the world. I want all these things for him because I know he wants them too, but is just looking in all the wrong places. I know that Sarah is not a good thing for him. Yes, she makes him happy- but she isn't challenging his un-healthy issues. I am thinking long term happiness here. The question presented to me is this: do you wait for the one you love with no guarantee that this person will ever come to their senses?

I know that God can take the craziest of situations and turn them into good. God has had much messier situations than mine to straighten out. I also realize that I probably won't get my way! LOL! And maybe that's the real issue. I am soooo used to getting my way that when I don't.... it's bad. Whether or not I like to admit it, I'm spoiled rotten. The "american dream" that everyone talks about.... yeah, I'm pretty much living it. So this drama-- it's all cake.