My mind is all jumbledy right now. Too much going on in one week. Well, actually there isn't very much going on at all. I like to feel purpose so I like having all these little projects. It's raining here today! Praise JESUS! We really, really need it.

So I have an interview on Thursday. I feel so weird. I mean, all grown up and stuff ---but yet I still feel 16-- ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Call it hormones, call it that moldy carpet from last summer or freakin anemia-- but I know that it's just weird!

I'm nervous too about Wednesday. David hasn't called me back to let me know either way & I'm afraid he's going to say "No." I half expect him to, because -to me- that would be a sign to move on. The longer I go, the more I realize maybe he wasn't the best thing for me. Who knows. I'm at the point where it all belongs to God and I just want to exist in His Holiness.

Then, I am famously horrible when it comes to anything mathmatical. Seriously, counting back change is a serious chore for me. I perceive myself to be relatively intelligent, but I really do horrible in math. To prove how brilliant I am [snort] I signed up to take Calculus and Statistics consecutively for six weeks. Right. Brilliant. I told you so. So I take a Calculus test this morning and do marvelous. In fact, I'm doing marvelous in both classes. I really want to know what the crack is going on. I get soooooo frustrated because if I could have two consecutive semesters without major life events happening I could actually have a decent GPA. But, that's all water under the bridge right?

Wow. The rain falling right now is really pretty. It's falling straight. Not slanted or sideways or criss cross like it sometimes does. Just a nice, medium rain. Falling straight.

Argh. I must explain that 'argh' isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it's good. Right now it's a 'wow'. I just am really excited. My car is getting fixed and I have no money but I'm still happy. I'm so pumped at the idea of this job and potential other things...... ehhhh heeeeeee!

I just feel a release. Freedom that my past is my past and that it's ok to move on. I am solid enough to stand in rough winds and weather the storm. Of course, that's not of my own doing. God gives you strength. I believed that through all of last year and this year too, but when you see the actual light at the end of the tunnel it's a totally different thing.

Wow. I'm really hungry. I ate breakfast and that really sped my metabolism up. Hungry hungry hungry. Hopefully supplies will arrive soon.