Wow. So - I really should update more than just once a week! (..and a hearty "Hear! Hear!" is heard from the crowd...)
Where to begin? Oh, let's see - I usually post about my obscenely funny - yet not - love life. So, most of you know about my little experiment with eHarmony. About a year ago - a friend and I decided that we'd post a mutual friend on this "Christian" dating site. Well, it was impossible because of a HUMONGOUS five hundred question "personality profile" - so as usual - who gets nominated to be the guinea pig? Yep - yours truly. Now - REMEMBER THE GUINEA PIG, it'll be important later on! :-)
So....... I met Mr. eHarmony (see Lawyer/City Boy) and the rest is history, right? Oh... no no no. Not if you're kickin' it with me - it's not. I have a knack, for...well.... how do you say... spice? Yeah - so I'm looking for his law firm's website and I Google his name to get there quicker and the son-of-a-gun is ENGAGED! Yikes-o-bee! Hysterical. Then, I get really scared because what if that WAS ME? Scary, huh?
So - REMEMBER THE GUINEA PIG? Yes, it's important now because I had a wonderful visit to the porno store this weekend. What? You say... you don't visit the porn store every Saturday afternoon for kicks? And why not I ask? Ok - the guinea pig part ties in here...
Once again - I'm in on hostessing a shower for a friend. Being the practical jokester that I am (it's inherited - I claim no responsibility for the actions that directly result from the genes I had no say in receiving) I decide that we need - practical joke things. I call a friend who's equally demented and ask if she would know the location of a questionable establishment that I could enter and not feel as if I had lost my religion. She gives me two options and off I go with my wingman (should I say wingwoman? or wingperson? Please comment and let me know as there is an ongoing discussion at The House of Redmon as to what is proper these days...) in tow. Now, usually I think the title guinea pig would be bestowed upon her - but not this time. We can't find Said Establishment #1 so we go with Less Desirable Said Establishment #2. Not good. Not good at all. Let's just say.... not only did I bathe in Purell I drank it too. All of this has happened over and above WORK and before I roll over, get tangled in the mosquito-web thing (cause I sooooooooo live in Africa and need one!) above my bed, and it promptly ensnares me for the greater part of Sunday morning. Yes, folks - I'm certifiably crazy.
So - pour you a glass of milk folks, it's gonna be a good one!
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